Friday, June 27, 2008

Words To Get Your Ex Back- How To Say Sorry

If you’ve done something that has wrecked your relationship and really hurt the other person, the chances are that the first thing you blurted out was “I’m so sorry!”, hoping against hope that somehow these magic words would erase the past and make thing right again between the two of you.

So what do you do when your heartfelt apology only falls on deaf ears, and even seems to make things worse? What are the words to get your ex back?

Would it surprise you to learn that there is a right way and a wrong way to apologize? Surprisingly, if you are the one who committed the offense, the last words you should use are “I’m sorry, I was wrong”. In fact, the only time you should use the “sorry” word is if you the one who is the ’victim’, the one who has been hurt.

Sounds weird and back to front, doesn’t it? Why should the one who has made the mistake not say sorry? The answer to this question depends on what you want from the apology. It’s not going to work if all you are focussed on is who was right and who was wrong. Think about why you are apologizing. It’s not about forgiveness. (Say what?) It’s about getting your relationship back.

When you begin an apology it always starts with “I”. If you want to repair your relationship, you need to start thinking of the other person. Put yourself in their situation, and really think about how they must feel, then begin your apology by acknowledging their feelings. Instead of starting with the focus on you, turn it on them and empathize with them.

But beware! Do not, under any circumstances, tell them “I know how you must be feeling”. It sounds glib and insincere. You don’t know how they feel, you are only imagining and putting yourself in their shoes.

There is a formula for making an effective apology which almost always works, if you truly understand the process behind it and are honestly committed to taking responsibility for your relationship. However, if the purpose of your apology is to defend yourself and bring up a whole raft of rights and wrongs, then you are in the wrong mindset.

An effective apology depends entirely on you having a real desire to build a better and stronger relationship, otherwise this formula will not get your relationship back for long. Find out more about the right time to use the right words to get your ex back.

For FREE tips on getting your relationship back visit Five Top Secrets You Need To Know To Succeed In Getting Back With Your Ex

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